It goes without saying that all around us, we’re reading, seeing, and hearing about the impact of coronavirus (COVID-19) in the world around us. Depending on where you live, there may be different levels and types of restrictions and precautionary measures being put in place. Needless to say, it is disruptive and is changing the social, emotional, and physical fabric of our daily lives. 

A public health and safety intervention encouraged by health and government officials to minimize the spread of COVID is “social distancing”. This is one measure everyone is being asked to adhere by as their civic and public health duty. I am not here to argue about the necessity of the distancing. What I am here for is shedding light on some of the consequences of social distancing - loneliness and isolation - and how to create connections despite it all. 

Social isolation, loneliness, and disconnection are consequences of this demand on social distancing from one another. It is all the more important and essential that we get creative in terms of how we’ll get our social connection needs met. While adhering to the best practices during the outbreak and spread of this pandemic, how can you still maintain your close relationships, reduce a sense of feeling stir-crazy, and establish connections with others?

I’ll share some suggestions and I’ll also share some resources that can put you on the right path towards buffering isolation and loneliness.  

The importance of connection to our wellbeing

The mere phrase “social distancing” embodies the thing we, as therapists and anyone with a vested interest in promoting healing and wellbeing, work to heal and repair. I work with folks who value relationships and sometimes they feel they don't know how to invest their time or emotional energy into them so we work on re-prioritizing their attention towards making changes so their lives reflect their true values. This value of close relationships and connection is a priority in my work as a therapist and if you are reading this, I’m sure it’s a priority for you too. We are social creatures by nature regardless of how you identify as an introverted or extroverted type. The fulfillment of a sense of belonging, validation, community, and connection are all essential to our being healthy.

The good news is, you don’t necessarily have to reinvent the wheel when coming up with ways you like to interact with people. It’s more about getting creative with what you normally like to do and translating it into a different medium that works when you’re not in the same physical space. This is an opportunity to take advantage of some of the benefits of technology and social media platforms and tools. I have a touch-and-go relationship with technology and social media (I’m sure I’ll write more about this at another date) but I can’t deny the fact that now is a prime example of a situation where technology and social media can stand out and shine if used correctly. 

Here are some ideas to maintain connections with people while you’re laid out working from home or away from your usual social gatherings.  

Working from home? How to maintain helpful work-level interactions and community: 

Say what you will about the annoying in-person meetings and the pesky small talkers at work. When all of it goes away and you don’t have any in-person interaction with people at work over a longer period of time, it’s only a matter of time till you may feel a difference in how much social interaction you get throughout your day. 

• Schedule periodic check-ins throughout the workday with a colleague or two (who you ideally like and enjoy) and do it by phone or via videoconferencing. Just as you would probably not just talk about work, be free to check in and say hi and see how you all are doing and what else has been going on in people’s days. This little bit of pick-me-up may help curb some of the craving for smaller scale interaction and then you can get to any task-oriented talk that’s necessary. 

• Virtual Coffee or lunch breaks - If there are co-workers you don’t mind seeing from home, schedule a video “coffee chat” where you all can talk for 10-15 minutes during the day, or maybe eat lunch together virtually as you might at work. 

Catch up on e-mails and write a friend or family member. 

Remember those emails you never wrote to your friend or relatives? This is a nice time for you to write those e-mails to friends and/or family who perhaps you haven’t had a chance to write to because work and other obligations were taking over. 

Take some time to consider someone who has been on your mind and write them a short hello-how are you e-mail. You might fear that it’s out of the blue but I think now's just as good a time as any to “come out of the blue” and say “Hey, with everything going on, I thought I’d check in. How are you?”

These might not glean the immediate feedback of someone “talking back” at you but at least you know you’ve put out some connective feelers for the near future. And you can also put to rest that gnawing sense of guilt you have had for never sending that e-mail, right?!  

Engage in shared activities virtually  

There are many virtual (video/audio) platforms like Zoom, Google Hangouts, or FaceTime. Use these to connect with a few friends and do any of the following together: 

Ideas: 

• Watch episodes of a show or movie

• Do a workout class 

• Try out a new recipe and cook a meal and chat while enjoying it together

• Catch up about whatever is on your minds while drinking wine and eating snacks

 It might take some getting used to but before you know it, you’ll feel the vibe of being with others. There are only so many hours of Netflix you can watch at home alone till you’re bored and a little stir crazy. If you’re doing it anyway, why not share the experience with someone else who can laugh or yell at the screen with you!

Other Things to Do (solo or w/ others) with some of my personal recommendations:

• Take a walk and get some sunshine and fresh air (while being mindful of bodies around you of course)

• Listen to Podcasts (below are some of my personal favorites that I subscribe to)

  • The Happiness Lab https://www.happinesslab.fm/

  • How To! With Charles Duhigg https://slate.com/podcasts/how-to

  • This American Life https://www.thisamericanlife.org/

  • Heavyweight https://gimletmedia.com/shows/heavyweight

• Virtual exercise platforms to get your body movin’ and relaxed

  • Your local gym may have already moved their workouts online - check out their website for updates

  • YouTube offers many fitness channels and instruction for free

  • One example of a paid platform https://www.neoufitness.com/ (based in NYC)

• Meditation Apps

  • Insight Timer https://insighttimer.com/

  • Calm https://www.calm.com/

  • Headspace https://www.headspace.com/

• Read Books 

  • Many public library systems offer an online catalog with e-books, audiobooks, and movie streaming services (such as Kanopy https://www.kanopy.com/) 

Hope & Support is here

I hope these suggestions spark some ideas for ways to connect with others during this uncertain and isolating time. Just because you’re not in a physical space with people doesn’t mean you need to hunker down and shut down all social connectivity. You also don’t need to (nor should you in my honest opinion) only rely on news, engage in “panic scrolling” social media feeds, and get stuck in your own mind and the abyss of the internet. 

I encourage you to expand your options and stay open to people who are all going through the same thing. You can support one another and be there with and for one another. 

Be well and be healthy. During this time, please be sure to take extra measures to put into practice the things you need to feel grounded, connected, and healthy. If you need extra support, do not hesitate to reach out and shoot me an e-mail and we can talk about how I can help you. 

References

This post was inspired by this Washington Post Opinion article I read written by Professor Jamil Zaki.

Read here for more information about COVID and social distancing.