Myth: You think self care can wait until after you’ve taken care of everyone and everything else.

Truth: The longer you wait to take care of yourself, the sooner you are going to burn out.

There are only a limited number of hours in a day. You have a to-do list you have to tackle - the needs of your family, friends, your job, your finances are all waiting on you (or so you think).

You think…

I have to get this project done first. Then I can take a lunch break.

I have to make sure all of the dishes and laundry are done. Then I can take some time to connect with my spouse.

I have to check my email first and respond to people. Then I’ll go to the gym.

Does this feel familiar?

Are you waiting to take care of everything else first before you give yourself permission to attend to your own needs?

Your personal needs and health habits play a much larger role in building a fulfilling life, career, and relationships than you may think.

When you don’t attend to your own needs, you’re on a faster track to burn out.

Are You On the Fast Track to Burn Out?

You might be thinking, what does sleep, eating well, physical activity, or getting breaks have anything to do with me performing at my best at work or in my relationships? Who has time for it? I am too overwhelmed by my responsibilities to even consider what I want and need!

I hear you. I get that this idea of “work-life balance” and “self care” sometimes feels like an elusive unicorn. But let me pause for a minute and challenge you to dig deep and consider these questions:

• How often do you go through a whole day running around getting things done but end the day feeling tired, depleted, still overwhelmed, and dreading the day to come? 

• How long do you think you can continue to overload your schedule, get by on the bare minimum, and feel the way you currently do about how you’re living your life?

We like to think or act like we have an unending amount of physical, emotional and mental energy. Sure, you may think you’re one of those people who “doesn’t need sleep” but spoiler alert - last time you and I checked, you’re not a robot. In fact, even electronics need to be charged in order to work properly! We are human and yet why do we expect any less for ourselves? 

Do you fall into the trap of acting as if you are superhuman? 

Some helpful metaphors for our personal sources of energy.

Take the cup, bandwidth, battery life, or a gas tank for example. 

Each of our responsibilities take a certain amount of our energy (e.g. like an app that requires battery life and data).

When you wake up in the morning and check your email or social media, you’ve already allowed some energy to be sucked away. Once you’re at work, how long do you wait until you allow yourself a break? And if you take a lunch break, are you still checking email? Are you working from your desk?

How long do you wait until you let yourself rest or do something that is nourishing?

Do you wait until it’s too late and your battery life is empty?

Here are some signs that your battery life might be empty:

• You’re not seeing results despite putting in the same amount of time into a task. 

• You’re feeling more emotional and irritable than usual. Even when you’re around people you enjoy, you’re not enjoying the experience.

• You experience physical symptoms like fatigue, feeling tired despite how much sleep you get, more frequent colds or other illnesses, digestive issues, change in appetite, and/or change in sleep quality.

• You are feeling less motivated about anything/everything regardless of how much you usually enjoy it.

Before talking about ways to re-charge and implement a self care plan, I want to get on my soapbox for a minute and briefly address another concern when it comes to self care. 

I don’t want you to fall into the trap of self care needing to look a certain way or else feeling like what you’re doing isn’t really self care.

…And if you don’t wanna hear it, scroll down to the next section “How to recharge”. ;-)

Yesel’s Soapbox about “What the Heck Does Self Care Mean?!”

You don’t have to go far to see something about self care on social media, in a magazine or a book. I’m afraid it has almost become a throw-away blanket term whenever someone talks about health and wellness. Stressed? Self care. Depressed? Self care. Anxious? Self care. 

While I support the fact that self care is being encouraged widely and more broadly, what I fear is that people are being told to do something while being shown a limited scope of what is considered “self care”.

Very often when we see something about self care, we see images of women drinking matcha lattes, getting massages and spa treatments and smiling blissfully to themselves while the sun radiates around them (and if that is your self care routine - no judgment). That’s nice and all, but not everyone has time for that.

So if there’s one thing you take away today, please remember one thing: 

Self care is any practice - mental, physical, environmental, relational - that will re-fill your cup/battery/gas tank. And you need to find what works for you. 

End Soapbox.

How to Recharge: Set up a self care practice that feels right for you 

Conclusion

1. Don’t Wait to take care of yourself. prevent burn out.

   Waiting to take care of your own needs is a long term set up for burn out. 

2. refuel and replenish. you are not a robot.

   Self care is a fundamental building block towards being more productive, engaged, and fulfilled. When you’re operating on four-cylinders, you’ll get much more mileage. Re-fuel.

3. Self Care is Personal. you do you.

   There is no right or wrong way to “do” self-care. Find what caring for yourself looks like for you and put it into action. A small step/act is all the matters and is better than no self care. 

Sneak Peak of What’s to Come: 

Myth 1 - Multitasking will get more things done faster

Myth 2 - My goal is too hard so I better quit while the going is good. 

Myth 3 - Saying no is bad

Myth 4 - Self care can wait.

Myth 5 - I can do everything by myself

In the meantime…I want To hear from you!

Share in the comments below what is one of the three things you wrote that you will try to integrate for yourself in the next day or two!

The next and last part of this 5-part series will be in the new year.

Take good care and be well!